Intertwining Family Trees
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Proudly hailing from the South, I’ve heard a lot of jokes about family trees with no branches. I often counter those with some comment about intertwining families.
While researching genealogy I often see marriages where siblings from one family married siblings from another family. These relationships often get an odd expression (or even that “no branch” comment), especially from people who haven’t looked back at their family tree or who are unfamiliar with the large families that were the norm a century ago.
A member of my own family recently mentioned with both downcast eyes and a bit of a smirk that “Uncle Ernest married Mama’s sister”. Since Ernest was her father’s brother, there’s certainly no legal, genetic or obvious moral reason for the embarrassment. In fact, as we talked through these marriages the path seemed clear and logical to me. And since I’ve seen these marriages not only on Tennessee’s Cumberland Plateau but also in Southeast Tennessee, Northern Georgia and Alabama, they were surely widely accepted in days gone by.
When families had a dozen or more children and limited transportation, joining families at multiple points seems convenient in the least. If you further consider the role parents traditionally played in choosing a spouse, the logic works out even better. Certainly if parents found a family of like faith and good character, choosing more than one match would seem very valid.
As with so many topics this history blog addresses, it can be difficult to look at these marriages in the proper, historical context. Today, we are connected to people all around the world; can virtually ‘meet’ people from almost any nation and walk of life. And certainly, the social barriers to marrying across socio-economic, racial and cultural lines have decayed. So when you think of these sibling connections, try to imagine the day when handwritten letters were not just the preferred method of communication but usually the only method. Even those letters took days and weeks to reach their destination with the time doubling before a response could be received.
I’ve heard of many romances that blossomed across the miles as letters were exchanged. I can think of two example couples who met, saw each other once or twice, the man left town (both were soldiers) and courted his girl solely through the mail. One of those married the day after the fella’ was discharged and returned home and the other sent a bus ticket to his girl who traveled across the country to marry him. While war-time romances are unique, both of those examples lasted until they parted in death. I present them to show the difference in courtships over the ages.
Even without the threats and passions of war, young people of earlier generations were serious about marriage with both boys and girls seeking a life partner. As young adults left large families to start their own families, it was very common for a younge sibling to join them for a time to help with home and babies which introduced them to a new family and perhaps to a new church congregation.
Church has always been a choice location to look for a spouse. After all, Christian parents teach their children not to be unequally yoked to unbelievers. While church attendance wasn’t a sure test it surely seemed a good start.
I’m just trying to paint you a picture here that the “modern” idea of picking up a stranger-date online or at a social gathering would have been pretty foreign in the small towns of 19th century America. As I so often ask you on this site, whenever you hear of these intertwined family trees, try to imagine their circumstances and the vast differences in their lives as compared to ours.
Now I have a question for you…I tried to do a little internet research and found lots of famous (and royal) people who married their cousins. But can you think of any well-known instances where siblings-in-law married? Just click “comments” below and SHARE.
